The Problems with Gboys
by Shan Duri-ma
Summary: Chapter 11! The end of one completely out of control parody and the beginning of another.
1. Default Chapter

1 Disclaimer: No I don't own gundam wing or ranma ½ , or saran wrap if that's even copyrighted so no suing of the poor people.  
  
Welcome to My Amazing World, MAW. This is where I go when I have too much sugar, cough medicine, or have just been smelling too many pinecones. *sniff sniff *  
  
Amber pops into MAW and screams " GIVE ME BACK MY PINECONES!"  
  
"NEVER! EEH HEE HEE!" goes and hides under the carpet with my snake, Shan. Shan sniffs the pinecone and turns into a big dragon.  
  
*blink blink * "well that was unexpected," I say. " Oh well. Shan-dragon- thingy, help Amber find her way off of MAW, please and thank you."  
  
Shan roars and breathes fire at Amber. Amber runs screaming, well, squeaking cuz that's what Amber does. "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME CARMEN! AND THE NEXT TIME I COME BACK I'M BRINGING SAM!!" *POOF* Amber is gone from MAW.  
  
Well, now that Amber is gone, I can finally start my story. First, lets introduce some of the characters. I pull a magic wand from my Wonder-bra and * POOF * Heero, Duo, Quatre, Trowa, Wufei, Dorothy and Relena appear in MAW. Shan and I turn into our anime selves.  
  
Me:"Alright, now that everyone is 2D and –Why is that big skank Relena here?"  
  
"I am not a skank! Or a ditz, or a snob…" Relena says indignantly and sticks her nose up in the air. "or a little bitch, or…"  
  
I roll my eyes, "Riiiight…" * POOF * Relena disappears. Everyone cheers."  
  
Quatre: "Why is Dorothy still here?"  
  
Me:"Because we are going to 'help' her get over her weird eyebrow problem"  
  
Dorothy: "I don't like how you say help, and my eyebrows are not a problem."  
  
Duo: "Unless you don't call people mysteriously disappearing whenever you sleep a problem."  
  
Dorothy: "MY EYEBROWS DON'T EAT PEOPLE!" She runs into a corner and cries.  
  
Me: "Anyways, the reason all of you are here is because you all have little problems that need to be fixed."  
  
Quatre: "I have a problem?!?"  
  
He runs off and cries with Dorothy. Everyone: o_0; Heero raises his hand.  
  
Me: "Yes Heero, you can speak here, this is a closed environment. You too Trowa. So don't be afraid of those sci-fi type people getting proof that you actually speak. They're the same people who track UFO's, hunt Bigfoot and wear tin-foil helmets so microwaves don't transmit their thoughts to big corporations, so no one would believe their claims to hearing your voices. We're all friends here, sort of." I glance evilly at Wufei.  
  
Heero: "If we all have problems, then why did you send Relena back?"  
  
Me: ^_^ oops!  
  
*POOF * Relena is back on MAW.  
  
Relena: "or a slut, or a brat, or a whore…"  
  
Me: o_0 "I can't believe she's still going on about herself. How conceited. Who wants the honor of shutting her up?"  
  
Heero waves his arm a little too enthusiastically, and I hand him a large roll of duck-tape I produce from my Wonder bra, and then he tapes up Relena's mouth with it until her obnoxious voice is just a faint murmer. That takes A LOT of duck-tape. Trust me.  
  
Me: Okay Heero, that should be enough duck-tape for now, give it back.  
  
Heero growls angrily and walks towards Dorothy and proceeds to rip off her freakish eyebrows with the tape.  
  
Me: No, Heero, I wouldn't recommend doing that!"  
  
ZAP * Lasers shoot from Dorothy's eyebrows in all directions. Everyone is in a frenzy trying to avoid the deadly beams. I grab a giant mallet from my Wonder-bra and whack Heero upside the head with it.  
  
Heero: @_@ ungh! *collapses *  
  
Me:"I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT! HER EYEBROWS ARE TOO EVIL TO BE DESTROYED BY ANY ORDINARY MEANS!! Continuing on, to 'fix' your problems, we're going to China to have a happy little visit at the *cough * cursed *cough * hot springs of Jyusenkyo!"  
  
Duo: "Uh, did you say 'cursed'?!"  
  
Without replying I take the Magical Wand of Transportation out of my wonder bra and * POOF* we arrive at the hot springs.  
  
Duo: Where do you get all of those things?!? Duck-tape, a giant mallet and now a magic wand?!"  
  
Me: They call it a 'Wonder-Bra' for a reason, Duo. All right, who wants to be the first to take a nice dip in the *cough * cursed *cough * hot springs. Wow, some cold I have! Maybe I should take some more cough medicine…"  
  
Everyone screams "NO" except for Relena, because her hole of annoyance, also called a mouth, is taped shut.  
  
I sit down on the ground grumpily and say: "Fine then, ruin my delusional fun. Oh well, I still have my pinecone!" *sniff snort *  
  
Then suddenly, Amber and Sam appear. Amber screams "THERE'S THE PINECONE THEIF! GET HER SAM!!"  
  
Sam comes towards me and says: "Carmen, give me the pinecone"  
  
I crawl over to where Quatre and Dorothy are still bawling, and I join them, cradling my dear pinecone at the same time. "But it smells so gooooood!!!"  
  
Everyone: o_0;  
  
Sam: "I'll give you saran wrap!" she holds out a roll of saran wrap tauntingly. I throw the pinecone at amber and grab the plastic greedily. I start batting it around in joy, like a little kitten.  
  
Sam: "um, Carmen, you do have to get back to the story."  
  
Me: ^_^ "Oh yeah! I forgot! Ahem, anyways, which one of you wants to try the hot springs first? No one? Okay, I'll have to pick. Hmm…" I ponder for a few minutes, and then come to a decision. "Okay, to prevent further violent and irrational outbursts, and because he's the leader, I pick Heero."  
  
Everyone moves away from Heero, who has just come out of the unconsciousness caused by my wonder-mallet. What do I have in mind for him? What evil, daring thing will I do to him? You have to read and review or else you'll never know!! MUA HAHAHAH!! 


	2. Heero and the Hotspring

Okay, due to Sam's constant demanding, I'm forced to put up another chapter to my fic which makes no sense at all, but what does make sense in My Amazing World? So anyway, I was just about to unveil my diabolical scheme to solve Heero's problem.  
  
Heero: "What is my problem anyways? I see no problem."  
  
Everyone sweat drops.  
  
Me: "Everyone, please follow me and I'll explain Heero's problem on the way. As you may have noticed, Heero has no emotions whatsoever, and is completely bent on destruction."  
  
Heero: "I AM NOT DESTRUCTION BENT!" he shouts as he fumbles with a detonating device, trying to figure out the secret sequence, even though he doesn't even know what it's for.  
  
I grab another giant mallet out of my Wonder-bra and smack him upside the head with it. I take away the detonating device, and on closer inspection, discover that it is actually the deactivating switch for my Wonder-bra.  
  
Me: "Hey! Where the hell did you get this?!?"  
  
Heero sits up and rubs his head, still a little dazed. "I found it in your underwear drawer. I MEAN, NO I DIDN'T DON'T HURT ME PLEASE!!"  
  
Sam: "PERVERT!!" she grabs my mallet and beats Heero savagely with it. Now Sam is not the type of person you would want to fight, she could probably whoop anyone's ass in two seconds flat with her almost freakish strength. To prevent Sam from killing Heero, I get my magic wand and make the mallet disappear.  
  
Me: "I don't think he'll be going through anyone's underwear drawer ever again Sam, you can stop now. Besides, what I have planned will be far more humiliating. But if you want you can drag him none-too-gently the rest of the way."  
  
Sam smiles and starts dragging Heero's limp form, making sure he hits all the sharp pointy rocks and sticks. After a short while, we stop at a certain spring, the crystal purity of the water hiding it's evil, vile purpose.  
  
Me: "Okay, we need Heero awake for this part, but how?" I think, then a light bulb goes over my head and I start slapping him and screaming in his ears. After a few minutes, I'm pulled off by Duo and Trowa.  
  
Duo: "I don't think that's working Carmen."  
  
Trowa: "You knew it wasn't going to work, didn't you?"  
  
Me: ^_^ "I know but it was still fun! The only way to wake someone as deep into unconsciousness as Heero is right now is to find someone to kiss him. But not anyone, we need the person he hates the most, that big skank Relena."  
  
Everyone is quaking in fear, or possibly from nausea because Relena is that disgusting. I start to unravel the duck-tape that covers her mouth and most of her hideous face, but then think better of it and use my magic wand to make the tape disappear. No one in their right mind would want to risk disease from touching her putrid skin.  
  
Me: "Okay Relena, go give Heero a big smooch. I'll be vomiting in those bushes, probably along with everyone else."  
  
Relena is overjoyed and throws herself onto Heero, using a little more than her lips to revive him. I can't even describe it for fear of being banned, it was that dirty and disgusting. Heero awakes to utter horror when he realises what Relena is doing. Screaming so that Wu-fei would never be able to respect him again, he runs into the spring we had stopped in front of in a feeble attempt to cleanse himself from Relena-flith. To stop Relena from running after Heero, I throw a rock just short of a boulder at her head, and she stops just before she reaches the water. Everyone stares in confusion at what happened to Heero.  
  
Me: "Well, that went better than I thought it would. Now Heero can't murder me because he went in of his own accord. I guess I should explain what these springs do. Each spring has a similar curse –whoever goes into the water will turn into the creature that drowned there whenever they are drenched in cold water. The only way to temporarily lift the curse and turn back into human form is to be doused in hot water. So there you have it! The Secret of the Jyusenkyo Springs!"  
  
Wu-fei: "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM YOU EVIL SORCERESS! STUPID WOMAN! FISH CAN'T DROWN!!"  
  
Me: "It was a really dumb fish okay! And just for the stupid woman insult, you're going next!"  
  
Everyone was still staring at Heero's other form, swimming around in panicky circles. Somehow he manages to jump out of the spring and is now flopping around stupidly on the ground, gasping, and probably muttering fish curses. Meanwhile, all the soon-to-be-victims (except Relena cuz she's unconcious)n panic and try to run away until Shan stops them with a breath of scorching fire. I pull a bowl from my bra, fill it with water and put Heero-fish into it. I can see him glaring at me viciously with his big bulging eyes. It looks pretty funny actually! The sight of all the half- charred semi-bald people (however Dorothy's eyebrows are unscathed) twitching on the ground is also kind of humorous in a mundane way, but that's just cruel. So I turn them all back to normal.  
  
Duo: "My beautiful hair is back!!!!"  
  
Me: blink. "Anyway, so Heero is a stupid little goldfish, but think of it this way: There will be a lot less explosions and killing, and Relena won't come around as often!"  
  
The G-boys nod their heads in agreement, as they eye Relena, who is still knocked out.  
  
Me: "Okay Wu-fei you sexist ass!" I glare evilly at him. "It's your turn!"  
  
Okay so now Wu-fei will be turned into something, any suggestions? TOO BAD. I already have it planned out. But hey! Amber and Quatre haven't been in this whole chapter! Where did they go? R&R and then I'll tell you more! 


	3. Wufei, Womanhood, and Cannibals

So when we left off, Amber and Quatre had gone missing. 0o0o0o0o0o! Quatre had managed to slink away when Relena was set loose, fearing that she would come after him. Amber followed him, partly because stalking people seems like fun to her, and she had other uses for him…  
  
Quatre walked through the thick forest as quietly and quickly as he could, not realizing that he was being followed. It was when he stopped to take a brief rest that he heard the rustle of foliage somewhere behind him. Please don't be Relena! He thought as he quickly turned around. With a sigh of relief he realized that it was just Carmen's strange friend, Amber.  
  
"Hello!" Quatre said in his usual friendly manner.  
  
Amber tilted her head slightly and waved by rotating her wrist, like the queen does…  
  
Sam: "Hey, Amber and Quatre are gone!"  
  
Me: "Yeah Sam. We already know that" *rolls eyes * "Okay, no big deal, we'll just look for them while we go to the different springs. The next one on the list isn't very far from here anyway."  
  
We walked for about five minutes before we stopped in front of another pool of glistening water.  
  
Me: "Okay Wufei, get in."  
  
Calmly he stepped towards the water. "I could use my new form to my advantage and find a way to get away from this strange place.  
  
Inwardly, I grinned maliciously. Outward, I was as emotionless as Heero usually was. "Shut up and get in."  
  
Wufei waded in the cool water, and completely submerged himself.  
  
"Three, two, one!" I counted under my breath. Just as I finished counting 'one', Wufei exploded out of the water. "I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!!!! YOU STUPID WOMAN!!!!!"  
  
Trowa blinked in surprise, and Duo burst out laughing. "HAHA!!! YOU HAVE BOOBS!!"  
  
Wufei: "SHUT UP MAXWELL!!" shaking with rage, he turned towards me, hands spasmodically clenching into fists. Veins were popping out everywhere.  
  
Me: "You'll never get any boyfriends if your eye keeps twitching like that. It's not very becoming to your face!"  
  
Oh dear god he's going to strangle me. I closed my eyes and tried to block his oncoming attack as he lunged towards me.  
  
CHOMP! When I didn't feel the he-she's hands around my throat, I looked up. Shan apparently had her mouth full, and whatever was in it was desperately trying to get out. I could even hear muffled screams.  
  
"Good girl Shan! Just don't chew or swallow okay? I still need him. Let's keep going and hopefully we'll find Amber and Quatre along the way."  
  
Trowa: "Wufei didn't look half bad as a girl, eh Duo?"  
  
Duo: "Eew! That's dirty!"  
  
Trowa: "Well I'm just saying that if I didn't know who it was I-"  
  
Duo: "Why are you telling me these things?!? I'm scarred for life!"  
  
Meanwhile…  
  
Quatre: "So, why did you follow me and not tell Carmen I was gone?"  
  
Amber shrugs her shoulders.  
  
Quatre: "I don't suppose you know what she's going to turn me into, do you?"  
  
Amber shakes her head.  
  
Quatre: "You don't talk much do you?"  
  
Amber once more shakes her head.  
  
Quatre sighs and sits down on a log. "Oh well, I guess you're better company than Relena."  
  
Amber, trying not to look suspicious, shuffles sideways towards him. Then she sits down on the log beside him, waiting patiently for the right moment.  
  
Quatre is snapped out of his thoughts by a gnawing sensation on his shoulder. Confused, he looks and sees Amber resting her head on him. He blushes and puts his arm around her.  
  
Excellent… Amber smiles to herself. She opens her mouth and…  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Sam: "What was that?!?"  
  
Trowa: "It sounds like someone is being attacked by an animal."  
  
Duo: "Well Dorothy and her eyebrows are still here," he pointed to her still sobbing form. (I had to attach her to one of Shan's legs because she wouldn't walk.) "so I don't see what the problem could be. I mean, even if Amber and Quatre did find each other, what could happen?"  
  
Me: "Oh no! Come on we have to hurry!"  
  
Duo: "Why? What's going on?"  
  
Trowa: "That was Quatre or Amber screaming, wasn't it?"  
  
Me: "No time for questions, we have to hurry before it's too late!"  
  
We all start running towards the direction where the scream came from, If we don't hurry, my plans will be ruined and guaranteed the boys will kill me! I thought. In a few minutes we arrive, and I'm almost completely out of breath. Stupid anemia.  
  
Me: "AMBER! *pant gasp * Stop it right now!"  
  
Duo: "Is she trying to rape him?!?"  
  
Quatre: "Help! She's trying to eat me!!!"  
  
Sam: "Amber!" She runs over and throws Amber away from Quatre, and as I help him up she quickly restrains her. Amber's face is hidden by her long brown hair, sticky with blood, and she is snarling like a savage beast. I pull a first-aid kit from my wonder-bra and attend to Quatre's wound. A chunk of flesh is missing from his ravaged shoulder, and he is bleeding profusely. As I bandage it he passes out from loss of blood. Duo and Trowa are completely aghast.  
  
Trowa: "I…is he okay?"  
  
Me: "He won't be able to use his shoulder for a while, but other than that he's fine."  
  
Duo: "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT YOU FREAKY LITTLE CANNIBAL GIRL!!!!" He ran over and was about to strike Amber, who squeaked in fear and surprise, when Sam pushed her out of the way and kicked him square in the balls. HE instantly buckled over on the ground and gave a high pitched grunt of pain. Trowa winced.  
  
Sam: "Don't you ever hurt Amber! It's not her fault she's this way! Her parents drug her!" she pointed to the huddled form rocking back and forth on the log, giggling insanely.  
  
Trowa: "Her parents… drug her?"  
  
Amber: "Evil parents, evil juice, evil drugs, make Amber go crazy."  
  
Me: "Anyway, now that that's over, we can continue on our quest to torture *cough * I mean help Wufei."  
  
Duo: "You mean his turn isn't over yet?" His voice was still a little high and strained from Sam's brutal attack on his manlihood.  
  
Sam: "Why, you want to have your turn now?!"  
  
Duo: "No no that's okay! He can finish first."  
  
Sam: "That's what I thought. Now move!"  
  
Duo: "Yes Hitler." He mumbled. I handed Sam a mallet and she whacked him over the head with it, just hard enough to leave a fair sized lump. "Oww…"  
  
Okay so I finally got my lazy ass working and finished this chapter. In the next chapter I finish with Wufei, and someone else, I haven't decided who yet. So keep reading, (keep on eating those people Amber, I mean, what people…..) and review or no more chapters. Okay I'd probably write more from boredom anyway, but review anyway. 


	4. Enter Trunks

Yay for more non-sense making to normal people chapters! (if you didn't understand that then I'm surprised you got this far) Now there's even more insanity so pay close attention!  
  
Walking, walking, walking. That's all we've been doing for the last couple of hours. I'm tired, hungry, and completely lost, but of course I'm not going to admit that. At least Duo finally stopped saying "Are we there yet?" every five minutes.  
  
I want sleep, I want food, and I want to be able to fly…  
  
Hey! Idea!  
  
Quatre: "Why is there a lightbulb over your head?"  
  
Trowa: "She has an idea dumbass. I think Amber's stupid leaked into your system when she bit you."  
  
Quatre: "Possibly. Well, I almost hate to ask, but what's your idea Carmen?"  
  
Me: "I'm gonna learn how to fly!"  
  
Everone stares with a dazed look, and someone mumbles "oh dear". I take a magic wand out of my wonder bra, shake it around and then poof! Trunks lands right in my arms.  
  
Trunks: "hey, what the hell OH MY GOD WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?"  
  
Me: "Relax, I pulled you out of your dimension and brought you here so you could teach me how to fly!"  
  
Trunks: Blink. "uhh, you want to fly? what do I get out of it?"  
  
Me: "Well if you don't, I could just give you to Sam and she'll do as she pleases" I point over to Sam, who is in a slight comatose state, drooling and staring at Trunks. I'm pretty sure he's been looked at like that before, many times.  
  
Trunks: "AAGH! KEEP HER AWAY FROM ME! SHE'LL RAPE ME!"  
  
Sam smiles.  
  
Me: "Well if you teach me how to fly, I won't let her rape you. And I won't let Amber eat you either."  
  
Quatre: "It's true! Look what she did to me! By the way I'm Quatre."  
  
Trunks: "Nice to meet you."  
  
Duo: "I'm Duo, the God of Death."  
  
Trowa: "Don't believe him, he's an idiot. I'm Trowa and what's with the purple hair? You gay or something?"  
  
Trunks: "It's genetic and what the hell's with your hair? And what's with her eyebrows?" he points to Dorothy.  
  
Quatre: "They eat people too."  
  
Dorothy: "They do not! WAAAAAAAAA! At least I'm not as ugly as Relena!"  
  
Trunks: "Oh god she is ugly! It is a she right? And why are you carrying an evil goldfish?"  
  
Me: "Oh, that's Heero. He's really violent so I turned him into a fish but he'll be fine when we pour hot water on him. And that dragon is my pet, and she's preventing someone I turned into a woman by keeping her, or him, in her mouth. Now can I learn to fly?"  
  
Trunks: "No, this is a drug- induced dream and I promise I will never experiment again if I wake up right now because these people are crazy and- "  
  
Me: "Sam! Rape!"  
  
Sam lunges with hungry lust in her eyes, but Trunks defends himself by turning to a super sayan and blasts her away with an energy beam.  
  
Trowa: "Hey, you're blonde! What happened to the purple? Eek!" he ducks as a beam is shot at him, and it singes his hair. "You bastard!" he yells.  
  
Just then there is utter chaos as Relena wakes up and sees Trunks. Being smart, the g-boys run and hide, but Trunks tries to blast her but her ugliness is too powerful. The energy is deflected and is then aimed at Dorothy, who's evil eyebrows retaliate with a bigger blast. There is a big explosion, and if it weren't for my trusty wonder bra, I would have been incinerated, but unfortunately the water Heero was in started to boil and he jumped out, now a human, and started to scream in pain, humiliation, and rage. I have no idea where he got it from, but suddenly he was holding a timebomb.  
  
Heero: "NOW ALL OF YOU WILL COME TO HELL WITH ME! HAHAHAHA!" he laughed insanely.  
  
Sam broke out of her daze and charged forward, she tackled him from behind, grabbed the bomb and threw it up in the air. BOOM!  
  
Whew! I'm confused! I take a mallet out and whack myself with it. Darkness invades and I feel at peace. Sweet unconsciousness!  
  
Well so much for studying! And Hurrah for delusion! Confused yet? Me too, that's why I knocked myself out. In the next chapter I'll try to stay on topic. I'll learn how to fly, get food, and then 'help' Wu-fei. Sound good? Yes it does and you know it. Okay I need to sleep now. 


	5. Three Victims

When I finally came to, I was surprised to see everyone was alive and well.  
  
Sam: "You idiot! Why'd you knock yourself out?!"  
  
Me:" I was confused!  
  
Trunks: "Not nearly as confused as I am!"  
  
Me: "Right! You still have to teach me how to fly! But first I want food."  
  
Sam: "FOOD! WHERE?!"  
  
I took out my magic wand and teleported a large buffet to where we were standing. I decided to let Wufei out of Shan's mouth, he/she must be hungry too.  
  
Shan followed my command and out came Wufei in a big gob of dragon saliva.  
  
Wufei: "I'm gonna kill -hey! Food!"  
  
Everyone ran over to the buffet and began devouring everything, except for amber who only eats people.  
  
Quatre: "That's not very lady-like Wufei!"  
  
Wufei: * Through a mouthful of food* "Shut up Winner. What happened to your arm?"  
  
Sam: "Amber tried to eat him. Are you gonna finish that cheese bun?"  
  
Wufei: "Yes as a matter of fact I am. Hey give it back!"  
  
Sam: "No! My food!"  
  
Wufei: "Bitch!"  
  
Sam: "Skank!"  
  
Amber: "Crackwhore!"  
  
Relena: "What? Why do you keep calling me?"  
  
Duo: "Oh god! Can't you change her now? I'm losing my appetite!"  
  
Me: "Okay, the pool is right there anyways. Trunks, blast her into that smelly bubbly one."  
  
Trunks did as he was told, and when Relena came out as a big slimy slug, everyone cheered.  
  
Heero: "She has no face! I'm so happy I could just pee my pants!"  
  
Everyone: * Blink*  
  
Me: "Well now we can finish fixing Wufei's problem."  
  
Wufei: "I'm not fixed yet? What could possibly be worse than being a woman?"  
  
Me: "Being a woman-pig" *Push Splash * "That's for being the male chauvinist pig you are! Now you are doubly cursed! One splash of cold water will turn you into a woman, two will turn you into a female pig. Mua hahahaha!"  
  
Trowa: "What a cute little piggy!"  
  
Sam: "Can we make bacon? Mmm. bacon."  
  
Trowa: "How is it humanly possible for you to eat so much and not be grossly overweight?"  
  
Sam: *shrugs *  
  
Amber: "It's Sam, you don't ask these questions."  
  
Me: "Carmen wants to fly now!"  
  
Trunks: "Okay, now let me think."  
  
Me: "Think faster! Carmen want to fly!"  
  
Trunks: "Don't you have a magic wand that can make you fly?"  
  
Me: "I dunno, let me check." I rummage through my wonder-bra and then pull out a bag of golden powder. "Wel I found some fairy dust I got out of tinkerbell's ass.  
  
Now everyone can fly! Just think happy thoughts!"  
  
I sprinkle the fairy dust on everyone but Trunks.  
  
Me: "Killing brother!"  
  
Sam: "Food!"  
  
Amber: "Satan!"  
  
Heero: "A world without Relena!"  
  
Relena: in slug language "A lifetime with Heero!"  
  
Duo: "Death!"  
  
Quatre: "Puppies and kitties and horsies and teddy bears and the colour pink."  
  
Trowa: "Hair!"  
  
Wufei: "No women!"  
  
Dorothy: "Eyebrows!"  
  
Me: "Now up and away to fix Dorothy's eyebrow problem!"  
  
Dorothy: "My eyebrows don't eat people! They may shoot laser beams but they don't eat people!"  
  
Trunks: "Now that I'm not needed, can I go home?"  
  
Me: "No."  
  
Trunks: "What?! Why not?!"  
  
Me: "You're not needed, but you're wanted very much."  
  
Trunks: "Damn my amazing good looks which are a fluke because my father is ugly as hell! Damn them!"  
  
So everyone flew, me and Dorothy at the front and Relena at the back because even as a slug she is still rancid. A short time later, I took away Dorothy's ability to fly with anti-fairy dust and she fell, screaming, into a hot spring. I flew down to make sure it worked.  
  
Dorothy: "Meow?"  
  
I screamed. The others flew down to see what the problem was.  
  
Duo: "What? Did her eyebrows try to eat you?"  
  
Me: "That's the thing, she still has eyebrows, but I turned her into a hairless cat." 


	6. Yay! No More Evil Eyebrows!

AN: Hello! On this chapter we have a very special guest, and I'm sorry if he offends anyone. It's just a parody, so lighten up! Anyways, a recap of what happened previously, I tried to destroy Dorothy's eyebrows by turning her into a hairless cat, but to no avail.  
  
Quatre: "No! That's impossible!"  
  
Trowa: "Her eyebrows really are indestructible, how evil!"  
  
Dorothy's eyebrows: "Ha ha ha! Of course I am indestructable, I am Satan! Ha ha ha!"  
  
Duo: "Aagh! They talk!"  
  
Me: *Smack him upside the head * "Well duh, of course they talk, they're possessed by the Dark Lord."  
  
Amber: "Satan! Where have you been all this time? I've tried calling and writing but you never answered!" *Cries *  
  
Satan: "Well.uh. the truth is."  
  
Amber: "And after all I've done for you! You couldn't even visit in my dreams?!"  
  
Sam: "So what have you done for him?"  
  
Amber: "Well. nothing but shh! That's not important!"  
  
Satan: "Well darling, just listen to me-"  
  
Quatre: "Darling?"  
  
Amber: "No! You listen! You've been going behind my back haven't you? Even after you said you loved me! Waaaaaaaaa!!!!"  
  
Satan: "Well, this is quite a situation."  
  
Trowa: "A very odd situation."  
  
Amber: "You said that I would be your Dark Queen and rule Hell with you!"  
  
Satan: "Yes, but then um.I.well.you see I was trapped.yes trapped in these eyebrows by God, and that's why I couldn't contact you."  
  
Amber: "LIES, ALL LIES!"  
  
Satan: "Well that's what I do! I lie and cheat and steal and kill because I am evil! That's just the way I am! I can't change or else there would be no hell and Light will prevail!"  
  
Amber: "Oh, okay."  
  
Satan: "Well, I have to go back to see how my minions are doing. So bye!"  
  
Amber: "Take me with you!"  
  
Satan: "Uh, there's an emergency. I have to go now!"  
  
*Poof * And with that Satan leaves, and the evil freaky eyebrows with him. Everyone but Amber cheers.  
  
Amber: "He ditched me! That bastard! Isn't he so cute when he's being evil?"  
  
Duo: "You seriously have problems."  
  
Amber: "Now all I need is a human pet, and I will have fulfilled another goal!"  
  
All the G-boys move away slowly.  
  
Me: "Anyway, that was very touching and sweet.I guess. but now it's someone else's turn." I pull a hat filled with paper slips out of my wonder bra. "The only people left are Duo, Quatre, and Trowa."  
  
Heero: "What about you four?" he points to me, Sam, Amber and Trunks.  
  
Quatre: "Yeah, it's not fair that only we have to be changed."  
  
Me: "Well Trunks is only half human anyway, and we're not the ones with problems!"  
  
Duo: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE PROBLEMS?!?! She's violent, horny and hungry all the time, she eats people and has a relationship with Satan, and you have a magical bra and get high off of pinecones!"  
  
Me: "Hey, the bra is an advantage, AND LEAVE THE PINECONES OUT OF THIS!"  
  
Duo: "YOU'RE ALL INSANE!"  
  
Me, Sam and Amber: "There's nothing wrong with insanity."  
  
Me: "Fine, Sam will pick Amber's, Amber will pick mine, and I'll pick Sam's. But you guys have to go first."  
  
They all agreed, so I drew a name out of a hat: Quatre.  
  
Quatre: "Ooh! Can I be a fluffy little puppy that never gets big?"  
  
Me: "Uuh, we'll see."  
  
And with that we carried on our journey.  
  
AN: Any ideas of what to do with Quatre? Cuz I don't. Put your pick in a review, and maybe I'll put it in. Thanks! 


	7. Demons and Romance

AN: Okay so the only suggestion was a really fat man in a thong with lots of warts (thanks for your feedback sam you retard, jk). So now I have to come up with my own idea.  
  
Quatre: "Yay! I'm gonna be a cute little fuzzy animal! Right?"  
  
Me: "Uh, sure. Now all you have to do is take a little swim in this cute little spring!"  
  
Quatre: "YAY!"  
  
Sam: "How can water be cute?"  
  
Quatre: "It is cute, the way it ripples and splashes!"  
  
Amber: "Shut up and get in!"  
  
Quatre: "Okay! Weeee!" *Splash * Gurgle gurgle * sploosh* "Am I cute and cuddly yet? Why is my voice so deep? It should be high and squeaky."  
  
Trowa: "Maybe you should look at your reflection."  
  
Quatre looks in the clear water and screams. "I'm not cute and cuddly! I'm big and ugly! Waaaaa haaaaaa!"  
  
Duo: "Well at least you're fuzzy.sorta."  
  
Heero: "And you have big teeth and long sharp claws and spikes along your back and bat wings and you can breath fire and *gasp * is that a poison-tipped tail? WHY COULDN'T HAVE I BEEN LIKE THIS INSTEAD OF A STUPID GOLFISH!"  
  
Quatre and Heero both run away crying, one because of his new-found capabilities of mass destruction, the other because of his lack of destructive physical traits.  
  
Me: "Heero, your problem was your violent behaviour-"  
  
Heero: "Oh yeah, that's why I'm a goldfish."  
  
Me: "-and Quatre, your problem is you're so in touch with your feminine side, you lost your masculinity. So that's why I had to turn you into a demon."  
  
Quatre: * Sniff* "Okay, but what will other people think of me?"  
  
Me: "Well, I know of someone who almost has the same form as you."  
  
Trowa: "And I'll still love you no matter what Quatre dearest!" He ran towards the demon with his arms open.  
  
Trunks: "And he was calling me gay because of my purple hair."  
  
Duo: "No, he was asking if you were gay out of hope."  
  
As the idea slowly formed in Trunk's head, his face disfigured into a mask of disgust and, horrified, he laid down in the fetal position and started to shiver and shake.  
  
Sam: "I'll comfort you Trunks sweetie!"  
  
Me: "No, I think you should stop the comforting between Quatre and Trowa"  
  
Duo: "Just let them have their privacy, they don't get to have too many intimate moments."  
  
Amber: "Is and intimate moment when someone's head is in the other person's stomach?"  
  
Duo: "Wha? AAGH! I'm coming to save you Trowa buddy!" he ran to where  
  
Quatre sat, with Trowa's legs waving frantically out of his mouth. He grabbed onto Trowa's ankles and tried to pull him free, but got sucked into the demon's stomach along with Trowa.  
  
Sam: "Some people are really stupid." She walked over calmly and used her amazing strength to plant a fist into Quatre's hairy stomach, forcing him to spit out the two gundam pilots. I got Shan to heat up some water with her fire-breath, and then I dumped it on Quatre.  
  
Me: "My god you almost eat more than Sam."  
  
Amber: "Almost, but not quite."  
  
Quatre: "Trowa honey! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to! You hate me now don't you?"  
  
Trowa: "If I hated you would I do this?" He grabbed Quatre's shoulders and kissed him gently on the lips.  
  
Amber: "AWWWW! That's so cute! They kissed!"  
  
Trunks saw it all, and as they parted he tried to gouge out his eyes. Relena stopped him by covering his face with her large slimy body. She was so disgusting and rank that he passed out and almost died, but Sam saved him by prodding her off his body with a very long bamboo pole.  
  
Sam: "Oh no! He's not breathing! I have to perform mouth to mouth!"  
  
Me: "Um, Sam? There is no tongue involved in mouth to mouth."  
  
Amber: "And usually the victim's clothes stay on."  
  
Sam: "Shh! He'll never know!"  
  
Me: "Yes he will, cuz he's awake right now."  
  
Amber: "Other than that he's scarred for life, he'll be fine."  
  
Sam: "Dammit!"  
  
Me: "Besides, we have more important things to do. And the completely 'random' draw out of the hat says the next person is Trowa."  
  
Trowa: "Hey! It's not very random if all the names are mine!"  
  
Me: "Shut up and start walking."  
  
AN: yea that chapter was very uh, 'romantic' if that's what you wanna call it, but the next one will be different, maybe, I don't know yet. 


	8. Gobble if you like Buffalo Bums!

Trowa: "Remember, you have to keep your part of the deal."  
  
Me: "Yeah yeah, shut up and get in the water."  
  
Trowa: "How can I trust you to keep the bargain when your idea of a random draw is to only put my name in?"  
  
Me: "Because you were pissing me off and still are so shut up and GET IN!"  
  
Trowa: "Fine then. I won't mind being an animal, I like them."  
  
Sam: "Maybe up the ass." She said under her breath.  
  
Trowa gave her an angry look and stepped calmly into the water. A minute later, he came splashing out of the pool, soaking everyone with his flapping wings.  
  
Trowa: "Gobble gobble!"  
  
Amber: "A turkey!"  
  
Me: "Yes one of the ugliest birds in the world. Trowa's hair was too retarded, so I was gonna turn him into a bald eagle (haha bad pun I know) but then I thought better of it when I realized eagles have sharp beaks and talons. So I made him a bald, ugly turkey."  
  
Amber: "I like turkeys, can I keep him?"  
  
Me: "Go for it."  
  
Amber: "Yay! Amber has a turkey, Amber has a turkey! Turkey? Where are you going?"  
  
Trowa-turkey tried to edge away without noticing, but his constant gobbling noises sort of gave it away. Sighing with defeat, he let Amber pick him up and cradle him in her arms. This isn't so bad, he thought.  
  
Sam: "Can we eat him? Hey! We could have a barbecue! We have a pig, a turkey and a.uh.does anyone eat slugs?"  
  
Amber: "No we can't eat him, maybe when he's old, or we're starving."  
  
Sam: "I'm starving right now!"  
  
Duo: "Oh my god, you really are a bottomless pit! And no one is eating anyone, or anything in Relena's case."  
  
Relena tried to glare at him evilly, but then realizing she had no eyes, she gave up.  
  
Duo: "What is she trying to do? A little slug mating dance or something?"  
  
Amber: * whispers * "Maybe she's coming on to you."  
  
Duo: * with a very disgusted look on his face * "Can I be changed now? I really need something else to think about, right now!"  
  
Me: "Alrighty, come with me then. The rest of you stay here, Quatre, keep everyone under control..or not."  
  
Quatre was bawling his eyes out, along with Dorothy the hairless cat, and Wu-fei the woman-pig, and Relena the slug. Trowa was making little turkey sobs as he was held captive in Amber's arms. And Heero was..  
  
Sam: "Heero? What are you doing?"  
  
Heero: "When I am done, this pile of bamboo shoots, leaves, and these poisonous berries will be a poison dart shooter designed for my goldfish form. No one messes with Heero-fish! Mwa hahahaha!"  
  
Sam: "I don't think that's going to work dear."  
  
Heero: "Why not?"  
  
Sam: "Because you have it all wrong, you attach this to that, tie this around that little knobby there, and stick this on top of that, and voila! You now have a poison dart shooter for goldfish and now you can take it everywhere, and it's also water resistant!"  
  
Me: "Sam? Since when could you build things?"  
  
Sam: "I took mechanics for a reason. Besides, those berries can't possibly be that poisonous." * splash fshhht * "Ungh..woooooo!" *Thunk *  
  
Amber: "Sam? Sammy girl? Well she's dead let's eat her!"  
  
Me: "She's not dead, just unconscious, so stop gnawing on her arm!"  
  
Amber: "You always ruin my fun!"  
  
Me: "Yea well. Okay, this fish must be restrained!" I said as another dart flew past my head. Dorothy, go get him!"  
  
Dorothy pounced on Heero, pinning him down as she pawed away his dart shooter. Then she carried him between her teeth and put him in his bowl.  
  
Me: "Now with the evil fish restrained, Duo and I are off to fix his problem."  
  
Duo: "What is my problem exactly?"  
  
Me: "You'll see."  
  
A couple minutes later we came to a clearing with a rather large spring at it's center.  
  
Me: "Well, this is it."  
  
Duo: "Well what's my problem? Am I too death obsessed?"  
  
Me: "No, I like that."  
  
Duo: "Well what is it?"  
  
Me: "Nothing, you're perfect."  
  
To his surprise I kissed him, and at the same time pushed him into the pool.  
  
When he emerged, he was a big, hairy, soaking wet buffalo. I took a thermos full of hot water out of my wonder-bra and dumped it on his head.  
  
Duo: "If I'm so perfect, why'd you turn me into a buffalo?"  
  
Me: "Aren't you happy? You still have lots of hair, and a hot ass, and I just helped restore a small little part of Alberta's almost depleted buffalo population, well once I bring you home-"  
  
Duo: "Bring me home? What are you talking about?"  
  
Me: "Well, my dad has lots of land, you can live on his acreage when you want to be in your other form, and the rest of the time you can stay with me."  
  
Duo: "Stay with you?"  
  
Me: "Yeah, my idea is to have Trunks as a body guard and when he's off duty he's Sam's, Alucard from Hellsing will make me a vampire (disclaimer: I don't own him or the show/manga), you will be my jester, and Brandon Boyd from Incubus, or maybe Ville from HIM, or possibly both (Disclaimer: I don't own them or their bands either), will be my muse(s) and sing for me!"  
  
Duo: "And meanwhile you will be doing what?  
  
Me: "Sitting on my throne, drinking blood, being worshipped, you know, being the Goddess of Darkness or something. Or if you want, you can still be the God of Death and I'll be your Goddess! After I'm a vampire though."  
  
Duo: "So how will you get all these people to do things for you?"  
  
Me: "Steal them of course."  
  
Duo: "And you really think that's going to work?"  
  
Me: "Well a girl can dream, right?"  
  
Duo: "You really are something."  
  
Me: "Does that mean you like me?!"  
  
Duo: "We'll see when you're a vampire."  
  
Me: "Alrighty, next job: Find Alucard!"  
  
Duo: "No, first you and your friends have to change too."  
  
Me: "Dammit! I will be a vampire someday!"  
  
Duo: "Sure."  
  
AN: So that was longer than I expected, but oh well. Yes Duo should love me, and Trunks should love Sam * lightbulb over head turns on * Idea! But later. Yes now I must leave so review this or I will come after you and make you my slave, (mua hahaha!) 


	9. Panda Power!

Amber: "Finally! You guys took a really long time back there."  
  
Me: "We were making buffalo babies."  
  
Sam: * murmuring in her sleep * "Mmm..Buffalo burgers."  
  
Amber: "Really?"  
  
Me: "No, but I did turn him into a hot-assed buffalo."  
  
Duo: "How is a buffalo's ass hot?"  
  
Me: "Have you ever seen a buffalo bum?"  
  
Duo: "No and I don't really want to."  
  
Quatre: *waves his arms frantically * "I do! I do!"  
  
I dumped some cold water onto Duo, transforming him. Quatre moves closer, looking at Duo's new ass at ever angle.  
  
Quatre: "It looks pretty nice, but how does it feel."  
  
Duo reared up his hind legs and kicked Quatre in the face. Taking pity on him, I produced hot water and turned him into his normal long-haired self.  
  
Duo: "You sick wierdo! Don't you ever try to touch my ass again or I'll burn all your stuffed animals!"  
  
Quatre: "NO! NOT MY STUFFIES! Okay okay, I promise I won't touch your ass again!"  
  
Duo: "Good! Now can we get on with this? It's your turn now!"  
  
Me: "Okay, but I go last. Guess we should change Sam before she wakes up."  
  
Everyone nodded their head in agreement, and with that Duo and Quatre carried her as I took the lead.  
  
Duo: "So what is she gonna be?"  
  
Amber: "A turkey so Turkey-man Bob has a girliefriend and then they can have more turkeys!"  
  
Duo: "And then you'll have a turkey farm and make lots of money when Thanksgiving comes around?"  
  
Amber: "No! I'll train them to free the other turkeys and then they'll kill all the people I don't like first, and then they can kill all the non- vegetarians. Oh! And they will also be the followers of Amberarianism."  
  
Quatre: "If I become a follower will you not kill me?"  
  
Amber: "Okay! As your God, I command you to eat cheese! Now slave! Go eat cheese!"  
  
Quatre: "Umm."  
  
Sam: "Why are the purple flowers eating pop-tarts? And why am floating?"  
  
Me: "Oh no! She's coming to! Quickly, throw her into that pond there!"  
  
* splash* *gurggle * *splutter *  
  
Sam: "MRAAAAAAA!!!!! GRRRRR!!!!"  
  
*splash * *splat *  
  
Duo: "H.help me! I'm being flattened!"  
  
Sam looks at the twitching form beneath her great expanse of black and white fur, and then gets off of him and goes and eats some bamboo shoots. All with the grace and beauty of a giant panda.  
  
Me: "Yummy plants Sim-sim?"  
  
Sam holds up a sign: 'Go to Hell. And yes they are dellicous.'  
  
Quatre walks up, crosses a word out, and re-writes it.  
  
Quatre: "The correct spelling is delicious."  
  
Sam gets angry and sends him flying with a massive bear paw. She holds up a sign saying 'Amber's turn now, I'm making her a kitty.'  
  
Amber: * clapping* "Yay! Amber's gonna be a kitty! Amber's gonna be a kitty!"  
  
Me: "There's the pool, go have fun."  
  
Amber gleefully jumps into the pool and gleefully jumps out transformed into a frisky feline, and not frisky in the sexual way. That would be creepy, and annoying.  
  
Me: "Amber want a toy?"  
  
I take out a plastic stick with a rope and a ball with noisemakers and sparkly streamers dangling from it. It's Amber's favorite toy, and she paws at it and purrs cheerfully.  
  
Quatre: "What a cute little kitty! Awwwwwwww!!!!!!!"  
  
He rushes over and picks her up and cuddles her. Of course, even as a cat, Amber doesn't like to be touched and she scratches him fiercely. Great. Now I am stuck with a squished Duo and a clawed Quatre. And it's also my turn next, and knowing that Amber is changing me it can't be a good thing.  
  
AN: Whew! I finally got up a new chapter! Feel proud of me. My english teacher says I am a talented writer so I better get good reviews. Byes! 


	10. Stalling with Love

AN: Alright no one reviewed, but that's alright. I know at least Amber read it, maybe Sam, but oh well. I'm having too much fun writing this so I don't care! Yea I think this is the last chapter, of this part, YES THERE WILL BE MORE MUAHAHAHAHHAHA! Anyways. on with the story!  
  
So we're still in this cursed place, and I'm the only 'normal' one left but not for long. Needing Amber's response, I converted her back into her human form by pouring cold water on her.  
  
Amber: "I want you to be.umm. I don't know yet."  
  
Me: "While you think I should find out where the hell Trunks and Relena went. I haven't seen them in a while. Have you seen them Sim-sim?"  
  
Sam looks guilty and holds up a sign that says 'No.. of course not.'  
  
Me: "Okay did you try to panda-rape Trunks? And what the hell would you want to steal Relena for?"  
  
Sam casts down her eyes and blushes. 'A love potion' her sign reads.  
  
Duo: "Why would you need a love potion?"  
  
She takes a sign that says 'For Trunks Dumbass!!" and whacks him upside the head.  
  
Me: "Why didn't I think of that? And how did you find out how to make a love potion?"  
  
Sam: 'I guess when I got turned into a panda, the great Panda wisdom was passed on to me too.'  
  
Amber: "Sammy smart now? Can you spell 'dissolve'?"  
  
Sam: 'D-es.ovel. Damn you! But anyway, this love potion is potent and is guaranteed to make Trunks love me. All I need is the slime from a 'special' slug, and a feather from a 'special' turkey, bamboo, those berries Heero poisoned me with, and non-cursed water. Oh and fire, you always need fire!'  
  
Amber: "Don't hurt my turkey!"  
  
Me: "I'm sure he can spare just one feather. It's going to a good cause, cuz then Sam will stop bitching about how guys will never like her. Alright so it's not really real love, but oh well it's all good. Fork over the feather Trowa!"  
  
With a gobble and a squawk, and a couple scratches and pecks, Trowa finally surrendered a tail-feather. I gave it to Sam, and she worked harder than I had ever seen her, which really isn't that hard, but love makes people do strange things. She meticulously started a fire, boiled the water, added precise proportions of ingredients, and then carefully stirred the concoction with a bamboo shoot. After a few minutes, the giant panda held up a sign with 'Voila!' written on it.  
  
Sam: 'Now all I have to do it get Trunks to drink this..wait, I think I'm forgetting something. oh yeah! I need a single strand of my own hair so that he'll love me. So I need to be my normal self.'  
  
I changed her back, and she plucked out a strand of her artificially red hair and added it to the mixture.  
  
Sam: "YAY! TRUNKS WILL BE MINE!! HAHAHAHA!!"  
  
Off she skipped, spilling some of the potion along the way, to where she had hidden Trunks with Relena as a guard.  
  
Sam: "Truuunks! Wakey wakey oh love of my life!"  
  
Trunks: "Urgh, what's going on? What happened?"  
  
Sam: "Relena just tried to smother you, and then I resuscitated you, and then I had to hit you over the head to make you unconscious again!"  
  
Trunks: "Umm."  
  
Sam: "Just shut up and drink this." She forced Trunks to take a swallow of the brew, almost making him choke to death. He made a face of revulsion, and then his expression changed to one of love at first sight.  
  
Trunks: "Oh Sam! Suddenly you seem so beautiful to me! I think I love you! No, I know I love you! My darling! My sparkling Aphrodite!"  
  
Sam: "A sparkly Afro-what now?"  
  
Trunks: "Kiss me with those lips of honey!"  
  
Sam: "Okie dokie!"  
  
So the two new lovers started kissing, and such, I won't give you any details, cuz Sam would probably hurt me, and Amber would never sleep again.  
  
  
  
Continuing on to the main plot line..  
  
Amber: "Um. I don't know what you should be. can I make you a Turonk?"  
  
Duo: "What the hell is a Turonk?"  
  
Quatre: "Is it fuzzy and cute?"  
  
Amber: "It's a cross between a donkey and a turtle, and it makes a sound like 'Turonk-ee! Turonk-ee!'"  
  
Me: "I think it actually have to exists to drown in a pool of water."  
  
Amber: "It exists in my world!"  
  
Duo: "Yes, but this isn't your world, crack-head."  
  
Amber: "Oh that's what you think. Mua hahahaha!"  
  
Quatre: "Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if it was."  
  
Me: "No really Amber, you have to decide on what I should be."  
  
Amber: "I dunno. Jump into that one there, it looks interesting."  
  
Me: "You mean the one with all the spiderwebs and vines and evil-looking trees and a 'don't jump into this pond' sign?"  
  
Amber: "Yea, that one!"  
  
Me: "Alrighty. It can't be that bad." I borrow Trunks' sword to chop down some vines, and then take a deep breath and jump into the murky water.  
  
AN: Yes, I'm further stalling the inevitable, but I still have to ask Amber, cuz I always forget when she tells me. But yea shut up at least I got the effort to put up another chapter. 


	11. NotSoGrand Finale

The water was cold, and I couldn't see anything. The strangest sensation washed over me, I kind of felt empty, light as a feather, and jello-like. like a hollow gelatinous feather. I was running out of breath, so I swam upwards with my webbed feet, broke the surface, and sucked in air with my bill. Wait. webbed feet. bill? I'm a duck-  
  
Quatre: "-billed platypus. She's a platypus."  
  
Duo: "Well I liked poisonous duck-beaver better."  
  
Quatre: "Only the males are poisonous."  
  
Thinking to self: 'Damn.'  
  
Amber: "Ha ha! I made her retarded looking! Ow ow! She has claws!"  
  
Great, so I'm just another Australian freak of nature animal. Come on, only in Australia can you find Giant Pocket Rabbits, Mini Tree Bears, and Poisonous Duck Beavers. Meh, I could've been something worse, like.. A sea cow, cuz then my brother's would never stop mocking me.  
  
I reached into my wonder-bra for a bucket of hot water. Great, not only am I a retarded-looking creature, I'm a retarded-looking creature wearing a bra. Somehow a person's clothes disappear when they change forms, but unfortunately, my wonder-bra was too powerful for that. Dammit dammit dammit.  
  
Quatre: "So, now that everyone's changed, is it over? Is our grand adventure over?!" He bursts into tears. I pour the hot water over myself and turn back to my regular form.  
  
Me: "Over?! NEVER! MUA HAHAHA!"  
  
Duo: "So then what are we gonna do?"  
  
Me: "We're going to Japan. More specifically the Nerima district in Tokyo."  
  
Everyone looks at me quizzically, and the ones who can speak say "Why?"  
  
Me: "Oh, you'll see."  
  
And with that our not so heroic heroes ride Shan-dragon into the sunset, heading for Japan. What madness will ensue there? Read the sequel when I feel like writing it to find out. 


End file.
